My Week In Review........

Wow this week has just flown by! It has been a good, busy week. I finally finished the wedding invitations and put them in the mail on Wednesday. That really made it seem real. If that makes sense. There were a few things I could have done better, but under the circumstances I just had to go with it. People are just going to toss them anyways, but that's not the point.

The GREAT thing that happened this week was that I was reunited with 2 great friends of mine that I lost contact with about 4 years ago. Shanna found me on myspace and Eileen found her so we all got reunited! Yay! I used to have sooooo much fun with those girls. We met a target, and they are the kind of friend that you always think about and have great memories with. I can't believe how time fly's and am glad to see they are living a good life. Shanna is married! She was the little sister of the group. The only one left to find is our pal Adriana, she was the mamma of the group, the regulator you could say. Eileen and me were kind of the party girls, who never refused a shot of tequila! Now were mom's! I am looking forward to seeing them soon.

So today we are off to Sacramento. We have to take Mikey to Taylor's Birthday tomorrow, that should be fun. I love taking weekend trips. I need a little vacation, the invitation process really wore me out!

Until then...................Luck and Love Always

What a Blast!

Palm Desert was F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S-! I can't believe it's here and gone. We had such a wonderful time. Thursday when we arrived, we check in and had our rooms upgraded for free, so that was a nice start to our vacation. Then we had a couple of drinks and went swimsuit shopping at the resort boutique. After that we went to our rooms and got ready for dinner. We took a cab to a great restaurant called Pacifica. It was fabulous. It over looks El Paseo Drive which is the the Rodeo Drive of the Desert. As you drive down it you see ESCADA, Tiffanys, Burberry, it's just amazing. They had a really cool roof deck that we dined on.

They next day was a day at the pool. The day when the rest of the group arrived. We had so much fun and got soooo sunburned and tanned. Who could feel the pain of a sunburn we were to busy downing "Summer Hummers"!


Then that evening all the girls got ready with their shirts and some with hats and we went out. We had dinner at The Yard House it was great as usual, then ended dinner with shots of Patron and Butter Babies (their they called them Buttery Nipples). Then from there we went to this nightclub at the Esmeralda Hotel. It was great. They had a live band and they called me on stage to announce my bachelorette party and play a few songs, it was crazy. The whole night the band kept yelling out my name. Mike's sister is fabulous. She really got the party going. She is such an amazing person and am so glad that her and Kevin joined us. Hat's off to my sister, she handled that Patron like a soldier.


Saturday we all kind of took it easy in the afternoon, some of us were tired, some were hung over like a Motha! One of the best parts of the hotel is that they had Starbucks down in the lobby and so every morning I got to indulge. Mike's best man bought these crazy black 70's wigs, so all the guys sported them on their night out. We had dinner at this Hawaiian themed restaurant it was good they made the best Mojito's ever! Then we went to the casino. The trip to the casino paid off for me and my sis I won $400 she won $300. It was a fun night.


I could not believe when I woke up on Sunday that this trip we had been planning for so long was coming to an end. I was so honored that these 14 people took the time, money, and effort to join us for this special celebration. It really means a lot and I will never forget our Co-Bachelor/Bachelorette party for as long as I live. People questioned us the whole time about having a co-party like we were doing something wrong, spoiling one another's fun, but I know if I had to do it over again I wouldn't change a thing. We had such a great time and now have our focus on THE BIG DAY!

Mrs. Cleaver you brought tears to my eyes.......

I would like to THANK "The Cleaver's" from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers, they were the highlight of my day. It just brought me to tears when I opened the card and seen who it was from. "June" you are truly and extraordinary person and are the only one of my close friends that remembered my Birthday. Hope to see you and the family soon! Have a great weekend.

Love,

Future Mrs. Winton

How Sweet!

How sweet of my cousin Gib. He came by the office this morning to wish me a Happy Birthday and brought me this adorable cake. The inspiration behind it is Palm Desert! He is going with us, we can't wait! He is FABULOUS! See I told all of you I had a great family!

Birthday's are a great time to reflect.................

Well today I am officially 28? That seems so crazy to me. There are times when people ask my age and I still want to answer 23? How weird is that, and how quickly time goes by. I am always an emotional person on these days. When your a kid you wake up excited, look to see if you have any presents yet and get ready for one of the best days out of the year. When your older the thing that really matters are the phone calls or emails you get from the people you love saying "Happy Birthday". For example, this morning Mikey wanted to go to my sisters and ride to school with C.J. so I took him over there, and it was so cute my sister, and my two nephews serenaded me with "Happy Birthday". I just love it.

As I set here at my desk and think about my life I am just one sentimental ball of mush. I think about what a wonderful life I have. I have the greatest family. My parents have exceeded my expectations of what it means to be parents. They have always given me wonderful things and as an adult they give me "things" that are greater then any gift I received as a child. They give me advice, they help me with Mikey, they extend the kindest gestures and most of all they have loved me through everything (even my crazy, rebellious times). For those and more I will always be greatful.

My future husband has given me a life that I never dreamed possible. He loves me unconditionally. He makes me feel like a true princess. Meeting him is one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. We have been together for almost 3 years and I can't wait to marry him. The thought of growing old with him puts a smile on my face knowing that although the life we have now is great, I feel the best is yet to come. Not only is he my future husband, he is the love of my life and my best friend.

My little boy has been the greatest gift ever. He is such a wonderful child. Having him changed my world. He is so loving, has such compassion for people, sensitive and loves to make people laugh. He puts a smile on my face when I see him. If I am upset he knows just what to do. A few weeks ago I was upset and having a bad day, so I laid down with him and I was kind of crying, he (like the little man he is) puts his arm around me and strokes my hair and tells me not to cry and that he loves me. He is truly the best.

I have such a great family. From my sister, to my Aunt Kat, to my brother, and all the rest. They define what it is to be FAMILY. I love them all and can't imagine my life without them.

So as I start my day, I just want to express how greatful I am to celebrate another year older, and to be thankful for all that I have been given and look forward to what lies ahead of me. Without all of you (those mentioned above) I would be nothing.

Palm Desert Here We Come!

I can't wait! We will be departing Thursday morning. I can't believe how fast it has come. We have been planning this for months. I have not be blogging lately, things have just been so crazy. We survived Gib's 40th Birthday, it went great. I have been doing so good on my "diet" and working out, I think I can look in the mirror in my fabulous new bathing suit without screaming, plus getting my spray tan just put the icing on the cake.

Wedding plans are going along, I have to get the invites out the first week of July, wow that is soooo crazy. I just can't wait for it to get here.

Well just wanted to make a short post, I have to get back to work, since I am having a short week I must be a "good" worker and get it all done. Plus I am on a mission to find me an Ed Hardy hat before Thursday!

Friends?

Okay, so I have not blogged in awhile, I have been so busy, but I need to as I have to vent. I am so tired of people in my life that claim to be some of my "best friends", at one of the most important times in my life I need them and where are they? For example, I have 5 bridesmaids in my wedding, 2 of there are 2 of my best friends or so I thought. We have been planning our Co bachelor/Bachelorette party for months, gave people over 6 months notice, but when one of them found out she was pissed and could not believe I had the nerve to ask people to go to it in Palm Desert. She accused me of thinking that I was to good, and to into living "the high society life", what kind of BS is that? It's called having fun and having the right to have my damn party anywhere I like. So after her almost backing out of the wedding over this, I just gave up and said whatever. She is drama anyway.

My other maid who I love dearly was on board. We told her that she could ride down with us, and we are going to share a room with her so she does not have the full expense on her own. I am accommodating her so she can go, because she is a great friend and I would love to have her there. So a couple of weeks ago I got a little drunk and she came to my rescue, now she sends me an email saying that she wants to really get her life in order and she needs to stop hanging around people that drink, drunk people, and all the drama. Could you make me feel any worse. I did thank her and apologize for my behavior. Then at the end of her email she says she is having second thoughts about attending the bacholor/bachelorette party? Are you freaking kidding me? I have been there for her through so many things. Many things that some friends would have just kind of let her go, but not me I am there through it all.

I set here talking to Mike in tears. In tears that all 5 of his groomsmen are attending the party. Three of them are flying from Sacramento to Palm Springs. We are talking lots of money, but they tell him they would not miss it for the world. That is true friendship. Two of my bridesmaids are going. My sister who is the Matron of Honor and my cousin Gloria. My niece is a little to young to go. So how do you think I feel. Like I told Mike, I dealt with girl issues my whole life, from elementary school thru high school. What is wrong with me? Am I not a good friend or am I just a bad judge of character? At this point I am not going to bite my tongue. I am going to tell them how I feel and if they don't like it oh well. Whats the worst that can happen, they back out? I don't want anyone in my wedding that doesn't want to be there anyway. If the shoe were on the other foot I would be honored to be an part of the wedding party and would not miss a thing.

I just know that after all is said and done there are going to be changes in the way I feel and think about people. I have gotten to know new people and am excited about forming new friendships with them. I think I am a great friend to people and it would be nice to have that in return. I have Mike who I love and has become my best friend, and I have those family members that were born as family but have become some of my best friends, but why do I have problems with just "friends".

Any advice?

Here we go.......

1. What time do your kids get up in the morning?
I have to wake Mikey up at 7:00 on the weekdays, and on weekends we sleep until about 9.
2. On a good night, what time do your kids go to bed?
8:30 is ideal but it never works out that way.
3. How long have you been a mother?
I have been a mom for a little over 4 years, how time flies by.
4. What is your favorite kids show and your least favorite kids show?
Mikey and I love to watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana, Kim Possible
6. What is your favorite chore?
Doing laundry, I hate it cause it never ends, but I like good smelling clean clothes.
7. What is your favorite meal to cook?
My favorite meal to cook would probably be tri tip, with loaded mashed potatoes, asparagus, sauted mushrooms, with some garlic cheese bread, and a good dessert like banana pudding?
8. What meal is cooked most often in your home?
Lasagna
9. What are your kids favorite meal?
Mikey loves lasagna, chicken, hot dogs. He is a basic picky child.
10. What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I must agree with Mrs. Searby about watching them experience something for the first time. I also love putting Mikey to sleep. We lay down and cuddle or hold hands and watch TV. It's the best.
11. Name 5 things about your kids that make you smile.
I love Mikey's smile, the way he laughs, his sincerity, the way he loves to dance, and he is such a joke-ster!
12. Where would you like to take your kids someday? I think Matthew would agree with me when I say Australia. But I have tons of places I want them to go, and the majority is in the US, We have a lot of traveling planned in our future.
13. When was the last time you went out without kids?
Probably two weeks ago when we went to take our engagement pics.
14. What is one thing you said you would never do as a Mom?
Not sure, but I was not one of those mom's that was on a mission to be perfect. I new that being a mom wasn't going to be easy, so I didn't want to put down other mom's for their short comings and then end up eating my words.
15. What is your favorite pastime with your kids?
Mike and I love to turn the radio up loud and dance all around the house.
16. What is your favorite quality of your Mom?
My mom is a tough woman, she is so strong. She loved us so much, but was never hesitant to discipline us when we needed it. She always took great care of all of us.
17. What advice do you have for new Mom's?
To just take it day by day and not to try to live up to the expectations of the world. To know that this is the hardest but most wonderful job you will ever have. To enjoy their time with their children, and tell them always how much you love them.
18. What is one scary/heartbreaking moment you have had as a mother?
When Mikey had his 2 year check up the doctor discovered that Mikey might have a heart murmur. So in that one day he had to go for a EKG and Chest X Ray. Our appointment for the doctor was at 9 in the morning and we did not finish with things until almost 3 that day. I was so impressed with what a good boy Mikey was being. I on the other hand was a mess. I cried. It was hard seeing him get stripped down and hooked up to all these heart monitors, and there were some moments he would cry or he would ask "Mama what's wrong with my heart?". It was a horrible moment. The worst part was that the doctors really scare a person. My dad had a heart problem that was hereditary so they had to take extra precaution with Mikey. So after that day of testing the doctor called and said the tests came back abnormal and that Mikey had to go to a pediatric heart specialist. Those were some hard weeks. He did more tests in the weeks to come and how strange it ended up or from all the prayers that were going out, everything came out fine. There was not even a trace of a heart murmur. That had to be one of the scariest things we have had to go through with him.
19. When was the last time your kids said "I love you"?
Mikey is always telling us how much he loves us. It's so cute we will pick him up we will be driving in the car and he will say "Mike.......I Love You Mike" "Mom.....I Love you Mom". He is such a sweet boy.

Our Santa Cruz Trip

Our trip turned out to be so much fun. Here we were all worried and stressed out that the fire was going to ruin it, we were so wrong. The trip up was great. Mikey took a good nap, and never once asked the dreaded question "are we there yet". He is such a pleasure to take on trips. So we arrived at our campsite, it was great. As usual I have to do the setting up before I can do anything. I am such a neat/control freak when it comes to camping. I have to have everything set up and in place, from the floor mat, to the table cover -Everything. That is one thing Mike does appreciate is how organized I am. Our friends Jim and Esme laughed and said that I brought so much stuff, but did I want for anything....nope.

So Friday night, we just hung out and had a simple dinner, and went to bed around 11. Driving and setting up take alot out of a person. The next morning I woke up and made my famous breakfast skillet for breakfast burritos. It's always a hit. That was a great morning, I started off with a bloody mary and continued drinking Mimosa's throughout the day. It was great, I had a buzz all day. After breakfast we went to Capitola and the kids played on the beach and the ladies went shopping. Pearl and I got some adorable shirts. Later that evening back at camp, I made a great simple dinner of carne asada and fresh salsa with tortillas. Then we went and got into the jacuzzi. I slept like a baby.

On Sunday we went to the Boardwalk. It was so much fun. I forgot there was so much to do there. The only disappointing part was that it was cold, so we didn't get to enjoy the beach like I would have liked to. We rode some rides, played some games, and again did a little shopping.

The campground itself was really cool. Very family oriented. It was so nice having full hook ups. I had my DVD player hooked up, listening to music, heating my curling iron and blow drying my hair at the same time. How great is that? They also had nice, hot, clean showers. Such a plus, and the bathrooms were nice and clean. They had an arcade room, and a train, a jumping pillow (like a bounce house w/o walls), movie's on an outdoor screen every night and so much more.

It was such a fun and relaxing trip. We were never "in a hurry". That's one thing I love about Mike. He never makes me feel like I am rushed on trips. We just take it easy. Mikey had a great time. We love our little tent trailer. We sleep so good and comfy. Well back home now for a week and then were off again to LA.

I Just Don't Have The Words..............

to describe how excited I am about the release of the Sex and the City movie. I love this show and it has always been very special to me for so many reasons. I love the reruns and watch them as if they were new. I can't wait to see it! Are we ready girls?

There are just so many things.................

There are just so many things that are causing me to blog. So here we go. First of all, it's a real bummer about the fire in Santa Cruz. What luck we have. The trip we so needed is now potentially ruined because a fire broke out in the area. They say it should be okay so we are going. The worst part is if they somehow close off the area, then what are we going to do? It's freaking Memorial Day weekend, it's not like we can just scoot on down to the next available campground. Everything is going to be booked. Oh well, there is not much I can personally do to control the situation so I just have to get over it and roll with the punches.

Then last night I am getting things packed and Mike can't find his poker chips. He just flips out. Not my fault. Do I lose things that are important to me, NO! So I told him that he took them to my sisters on Easter and that he probably left them there. He was sure he didn't and that they were in my car, and then I put them in the garage or some non sense like that. So I call my sister and she said she would look but that she had not seen them. So he just went off. It was a pretty bad fight. I was just so tired and did so much I could not believe the fit he was throwing. He even accused me of loaning them to someone. So I called his mom. After about an hour of drama my sister called and said she found them. After that, it was my turn to go off. So that really had an effect on how I feel today, and not really into going on the trip at all. So this morning he gave me a hug and said he was so sorry and all the apology lovey stuff, but you know how that goes when a girl gets her feelings hurt. It stays with you for awhile.

Okay, so here I am at work today and wanting to kill certain people. The first thing that irritated me was the CalOver lady dropped off a package. Well on any day we get packages I go to the back and open them and give the to the person it's directed to. This morning as I am walking to the back, my boss says "Give It" and grabs the envelope from me like a jackass. "Give it" that is such a rude way to ask someone for something and that does not fly with me. I am not rude to my co-workers and I treat them with respect and expect the same. Then he is going through his billings and asked me about why his project was billed 500 dollars for copies. I said the only copies I have billed were the 5 hundred page reports that I printed out last week. So he said that seemed like a lot for in-house printing. So he called the accounting lady and confirmed that was the charge for those reports. So he got pissed at me because he said he couldn't afford that in his budget, and that I need to ask him before I do stuff like that, and he did not want me to bill it, and try to give me this lecture. Sorry, for doing my job. Anytime Mike has a huge print job for a job, my boss is always making comments and reminding me to bill his project for all the copies. Well shouldn't that apply to everyone? Maybe he wouldn't be so out of budget if he didn't milk his project, let his brother bill overtime that he doesn't even work, take lunches for the hell of it and bill it to his project.

The last thing is not something I am mad about. It's just something that makes my heart very heavy. My brother in law just recently took a job in Mendocino County. That is a good 6/7 hour drive from here. I just know that even though it's a great job and opportunity, and the money is great, but everyone in that family is having to sacrifice a lot. I know he misses them like crazy. I know my sister misses him and I think in some ways wishes he was home. I get sad because their little boy C.J. misses his Daddy. The other day he got in trouble, and he ran under the table and cried for his Daddy. Then his Dad was suppose to come home this weekend, but the fire in Santa Cruz broke out and they sent him down there, so this will be going on three weeks that he has not been home. So my sister had to tell C.J. that daddy wasn't coming home and CJ said he missed his dad and that he has not seem him in along time. He thinks his Daddy is at one big fire, because he keeps asking my sister if his Daddy put the fire out yet so he can come home. It just hurts my heart so much. He could be up there for almost 3 years. That is along time. Not to mention their other son who is 13. This is such a crucial age for a boy to have a father figure in his life, and I just hope he is going to be okay. That is the age where it seems like kids are so hard to figure out. They just distance themselves and don't really let you in on whats going on in their lives. I just want him to remain the good, athletic, wonderful young man he is. And last my sister. She is such a strong woman. She rarely cries, she is very independent, and keeps things under control. She let him go making him feel confident that things would be fine, and she was happy that he was pursuing this great opportunity. I think that makes her such a great woman to be able to do that, because I don't think I could. I just have to be there as much as I can for them, and I try to keep them busy. I think be busy is important that way their not bored. If their bored then time will seem to go by so slow. I just love them so much and want the best for them.

Well I have 30 more minutes of work left and I am out of here. I am so glad I took the time to blog. It actually made me feel a little better, like I got some stuff off my chest.

I Appreciate My Life So Much..................

If ever a reason to blog at 11PM this would be the one. Today I picked Mikey up at my mom's and as we were leaving we were stopped at the four way stop in Woodlake. The only four way stop. So I stop and the car coming toward me goes first, then the cars on my right and left proceed to go, then it's my turn. So I proceed to finally go, and as I look to my right I see a car hauling ass, and what do you know they are not stopping at the stop sign. I just freak and slam on my breaks as hard as I can. They flew and stopped right in front of me, about an inch away from my car. I was freaked, if I would have been in a hurry and not paid attention they would have T-boned my car right on the side that Mikey was sitting. So as we were both stopped in the intersection the lady would not even look at me as I yelled and called her a Stupid F&^%$#@ B&^%$!!!! Then she just proceeded to drive off. I was just shaking, mad and called Mike crying at the same time. I have never come so close to being in a wreck, and it wasn't so much that I cared about myself, I just knew my baby was in the car and could not let anything happen to him. I just wish someone would have been with me so I could have followed the bitch and ripped her out of her car and screamed at her and tell her that being stupid and irresponsible like that is what kills innocent people and children. She was not an old woman or a young girl she seemed looked like a normal 30 something woman with her husband/boyfriend. If the woman had any decency she would have got out and asked if we were okay. It was a pretty hard jerk the way I put the breaks on. Mikey just kept asking what happen. Then I explained to him what had happened. I told him it was a very scary situation, and he said "Mommy I was not scared, I am a man, and men don't get scared. If we would have been in a crash and I got hurt I would try not to be scared. I would be sad if I had to go to heaven but I would not be scared to go to heaven." Wow that just made me cry more. I just could not believe the conversation him and I were having. Well we are fine, thank God. Serious, it had to be God looking out for us because in all honesty we should have collided with that car. It just really opened up my eyes, and again made me realize how I need to not sweat the small stuff and just love and embrace my life and the people in it.

So Far.............

Today has been a good day. No fighting! No Drama! I am just so busy getting ready for our trip this weekend to Santa Cruz. We are leaving Friday and coming home on Monday. We need a little vacation, we are always so busy, it's time for a time out! The only thing about family vacations is that for Mom's it still involves some work, but that's okay.

I am kind of disappointed, I picked up our proofs today for our engagement pictures, and they just weren't what I expected. To me they just didn't tell a story our show what the pictures mean. I am just sad about that. Oh well there is nothing I can do about that so no since in dwelling on it.

Well just had a few minutes to blog. Hope everyone has had a great day!

Just in a blogging mood......

So Mike and I are still not getting along. This is day 3. Am I really the one the is causing this? He says that I am not even trying to meet him half way, but to me he is not giving me the incentive to want to do that. For example, he was mad that the other night I called my mom and vented to her about our argument. So now he says that he does not want to go around them because they probably think bad of him, which is untrue because my parents just stay out of it, and tell me that we need to work things our. So this morning we take Mikey to my mom's and he sits and waits in the car. He doesn't even try and help. I had to get Mikey out and take him in and then go back and get his stuff. Now come on, wouldn't that piss you off? So as soon as I got in the car it was like "Ding! Ding! Round 3" and that's not cool, it's only 7:30 in the morning for God's sake. So this is where we are at right now. He says that there is no changing my mind, and that I am choosing to be in a bad mood. I think it's more like he is choosing to be an asshole.

On the happy side, I have lost an official 5 pounds. I am so happy. There is nothing that taste better then getting on the scale and watching it go down. I just have to stay motivated. That's whats crazy to is that when I lose weight I am such a happier person, so Mike and I should be getting along great. Well hopefully I can work on getting another 5 pounds off in the next two weeks. I am really going to have to step up my game and get a few more workouts in. So far I am only working out 3 days a week and that is not enough.

Also, I just got my Entertainment Weekly magazine in the mail. It was totally dedicated to the Sex and the City movie. They had so many pics in there. The articles were great, they gave you a good insight into the movie and just gave you enough info to make you be the first in line to see it. Also had an article about all the gorgeous clothes and shoes they got to wear. I can't wait!

Well better get back to work, just had some work emailed to me from my girl Sam. So for her I am willing to work, but for some other people in this office.....they can just wait! I just hope things get better between Mike and I . It is just so exhausting to be angry and fight. It really wears a person out.

Congrat's to my girl Fergi! We're Having a Girl!

I am so excited! My fabulous friend, and favorite co-worker (sorry Mike) is having a Little Girl! I am sooo happy. I think it's funny because Fergi is so not a girly-girl. Her favorite color is black and she hates pink, rhinestones, glitter, ruffles, all things that I am going to be buying the little one:) It's so funny her due date is September 20th, same day as our wedding. I am going to have to kill her if she misses it, she must hold out until she eats her $40 plated meal at the reception. Then she can leave and I will bring her some wedding cake to the hospital. Anyways I am just thrilled, it has been so long since I have got to shop for a girl. She seemed a bit shaken when she called me to tell me the news. She has no worries though she is going to do a great job!

Just Killin' Time!

Where is your cell phone? On my desk
Your significant other? In the back of the office, where he belongs:)
Your hair? Needs to be redone, I am not to fond of the color this time.
Your mother? At home with my baby, I wish I was her.
Your father? Is the best man ever!
Your favorite things? Cinnamon Dolce Latte, TV on Food Network, with my favorite blanket
Your dream last night? I don't remember
Your favorite drink? Water, we grew to love one another
Your dream/goal? To own my own business, and live out in the country in Exeter in a big house and driving a Lexus:)
The room you're in? Is my office.
Your ex? Has been paying child support, it's about time!
Your fear? Loved one's dying.
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Finished having children, in a home that they are going to grow up in, Living The Good Life
Where were you last night? At home
What you're not? Skinny
Muffins? Cranberry Orange (low fat) or the chocolate one's from Costco which almost qualify as a brownie
One of your wish list items? An Ed Hardy Bag
Where you grew up? In Exeter
The last thing you did? timesheets
What are you wearing? black and white polka dot dress with black heels
Your TV? No TV at work
Your pets? No Pets
Your computer? Is okay I want a laptop though.
Your life? Great most of the time
Your mood? Kind of bummed
Missing someone? My child, he always gets me out of my sad moods.
Your car? Is fabulous
Something you're not wearing? socks
Favorite store? Macy's
Your summer? Is so busy it's going to fly bye
Your favorite color? black
When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
Last time you cried? At lunch

Need To Vent.....

So this weekend was pretty good starting off. Friday night we are usually up to something, so it was nice to hang out at my mom and dad's and relax. Nothing special, ya know? On Saturday we had to go to a lunch my Dad's club puts on, and then we headed up to Springville to Mike's parents. It was a really good day. We hung out and talked about the wedding, got out the trailer and worked on it so it will be ready for this weekend.

So here is my thing. Sunday was a free day. The only thing we had to do was take Mikey to Toy's R Us because we promised (bribed) him last week if he spent the night at Grandma's we would take him to the toy store. He never used to have to get bribed but now he always wants to be home at night, but that's a good thing. Anyway so we get up and leave about 10:30 and Mikey wanted to go eat breakfast first. So Mike in the car gives me attitude about how he wants to get alot done today and that we are giving him a late start. Well that just blew it for me. I just got pissed. I just feel that all week I am in a constant rush. I am in a rush from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed. So I was mad and we kind of started arguing. To make matters worse we get to the restaurant and Mikey decides he wants to go to McDonalds, and I said no. So then he refuses to get out of the car, which is so not him. He is always so "go with the flow". So now I am running out of patients and he says "carry me". Mikey is a big boy and anymore I just can't carry him very far. So I tell Mike to handle it. So Mike finally picks him up and carry's him and spanks him on the butt. All I wanted was a nice peaceful breakfast, and that was not happening. Needless to say that just set the tone for the rest of the day. It would be like we got along for a few then something else would set us off.

So today at work has sucked. This is the down fall of working together. When your mad it just shows at work. You get no break from each other to clear your head and kind of miss the person and realize what you did wrong. It's just one thing after another. I have just noticed we have be bickering more then usual and it makes me really upset. It does not make me in anyway doubt our love for eachother or doubt our future, but just makes me wonder why? I know that things can't be happy and wonderful all the time, but to me this is more then I can take. I just think all that we are doing right now is putting alot of stress on us. Not to mention Mike has so much going on at work. He is managing 2 projects that are over $1million dollars, and this is his first year managing this large of a job.

I feel bad about venting this for all the world to see, because I never see many people vent about the bad stuff, it's always the good stuff. There is so nothing wrong with the good stuff, but I just wonder if those people that always seem like everything is perfect ever have relationship issues? Do you yell and scream and cry like I do?

I will be so happy when our wedding is here and gone. That kind of sounds bad, but we just need that time back where it was like the only major things going on were work, family life, Mikey. All the other stuff was just extra. Now it's like today is this, tomorrow we have to do that. I just want it to be back to normal again.

I just love this picture of Mikey. Kids just have no worries in the world. The only thing Mikey was thinking about was if the horse in the pasture was going to mess with his jeep:)

Just on a little break.......

Well my coffee is really kicking in, and sense the current work I am doing right now is kind of tedious I thought I would take a break a blog a bit. For the past couple of days I have been feeling so exhausted and not only from just being so busy, but the thought of the coming weeks and all we have to do is really wearing on me. I can't believe how busy we are this summer. I think I would enjoy it more if I did not have the constant reminder of the wedding and all the things that we still need to do.

My week has just flown by. Going out Monday night with Cassie was so much fun. It was nice to just hang out and talk. We just have so much in common. Who would have ever guessed? She is a great person and a keeper as a friend.

As if I don't have enough to do, I jumped on board to help my cousin and his wife out with his 40th Birthday. It's going to be on June 21st. Yes I like to torture myself. So yesterday I spent all day designing invitations and then met with them after work and he actually loved one of them that he made that the final. That was fairly easy, so now onto the other work I am going to be doing for their party. I wish I would had more time, I would have loved to cater it, I had some great ideas but not enough time or help to execute my plans. Oh well, maybe for another occasion. His party is going to be fun, I can't wait.

So today I am getting off work at 2 and going to get my nails done, we have are engagement pics tonight. I hate taking pictures! Were kind of late on these, but we really need a good pic for our sign in picture at our wedding. So I hope we get at least one shot that I am willing to put up at the wedding without looking at it and wanting to scream:)

The diet and working out is going good. I have been doing my cardio at least three times a week, some strength training and my eating has been on the healthy side. So I just have to keep it in the zone and look toward the wedding and how it's a one shot deal to look as good as I possibly can. Sometimes it get frustrating cause it seems like I could accomplish more if I had a 30 hour day. Like last night I did not get done working out until 11. So after that I shower and get ready for bed and I am wide awake, that sucks. I just wish I could be one of those people that get up at 4am to work out, but I have tried it and it won't last and I guess a person has to stick with what works.

Lately things are so crazy, that I feel like I don't have much time for my friends, and it's true. But, I am not a bad friend, in reality I don't even have that much time for my family, it's just go-go-go! I just think how it's funny how certain friendships change at different stages of your life. Sometimes I wonder if the friendships that change are truly genuine friendships? I thought being friends meant being there, no matter what life throws your way.

Well enough for now, better get back to work! Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Irritating Co-Workers Talk Prenup To Me

So here is how the conversation began. My co-workers girlfriend came by and dropped him off some lunch. After she left I told him that after my wedding I am going to be bored, so I am just going to go ahead and plan their wedding. (Funny Ha Ha). So him and I always joke around, he is one of those guys that I know back in the day I would have hung out with. So anyways he told me, "I will get married to Tina when you sign a prenup for Mike." I laughed of course and then that's when the irritating co-workers opened their big fat mouths! One of just kept saying "why wouldn't you sign one". Then the Queen Bitch of the office who is 40, divorced, no kids, and is with a guy who will never marry her says " it's just being realistic". That just pissed me off and I told her she was just bitter:) I just think that a marriage is such a sacred thing and to me the idea of signing a prenup is just like saying well okay we love each other, but since I have more then you financially I have to protect MYSELF! Myself? That is so selfish. I think the whole point of marrying someone is because you love and trust them with everything you have. I just think that the whole signing of the prenup taints the marriage. If two people are willing to make such a huge step and marry one another then go into it with both feet forward, not holding back, right? I just think some people in this office are stupid and bitter! Well anyway just had to vent a little. I feel much better now. I was going to post a pic of her that I photoshopped with devil horns and a mustache but I can't find it, darn! Have a great day everyone, and would love to hear your opinion on this subject.

My Little Cowboy (for the day)

Today is starting off great. First Mikey woke up in a happy mood and was so excited to go to school. I think getting to wear his cowboy hat helped us out. So it's going to be a fun and busy weekend again. Mikey is in the Woodlake parade tomorrow with his class. He is so excited about it. Their float is a Noah's Ark theme and he is wearing a cow hat. I think it's going to be so cute. He was practicing his waving in the car this morning. Then later in the day I guess were headed up to the rodeo. Well just wanted to blog for a minute and post my pic of my baby! Have a wonderful day everyone.

Here you go Mrs. Searby!

4 jobs I have had in my life:

1. Target it was so much fun working there, and hiding stuff until it went on clearance!

2. Lifestyle's - so did not like it working in Daycare, but my other job there was fun.

3. Working for my dad driving a diesel water truck. (Oh yeah I was rollin' in the Peterbuilt)

4. OMNI MEANS- I love it and is where I met my future husband.

4 movies I have watched more than once:

1. Toy Story

2. Men of Honor

3. The Incredibles

4. The Game Plan

4 television shows I watch/watched:

1. Top Chef

2. America's Next Top Model

3. Deadliest Catch

4. Desperate Housewives

4 people who e-mail me regularly:

1. Mike - we email more then we verbally talk at work.

2. Cassie - we are always emailing back and forth always having something to chat about.

3. Catrina - since we work together that is our way to talk S%#* about our co-workers without them knowing it.

4. My sister, we are always sharing our great online finds!

4 Places I've been:

1. Washington D.C.

2. Las Vegas, love it and miss it. It's been so long.

3. Palm Desert

4. Hermosa Beach, Mike's sister lives there, on the beach. I love it and envy her so much for living in such a gorgeous place.

4 of my favorite foods:

1. Mexican, I'm a chip and Salsa kind of girl (I have to agree with the Chips and Salsa thing it's so satisfying)

2. sushi

3. shrimp coctail

4. good ol' greasy cheeseburger

4 places I would like to visit:

1. Hawaii

2. Italy

3. Australia

4. Fiji

4 things I am looking forward to in the coming year:

1. Not having a wedding to plan

2. maybe getting pregnant

3. going to Hawaii

4. home improvement projects

4 girl/boy names that you love:

1. Corbin

2. Brooklyn

3. Miley (only because it would be cute to have a Mikey and a Miley)

4. Samantha

4 magazines that you read

1. Taste of Home (the recipes never fail)

2. Self

3.Glamour

4.US Weekly

4 websites you frequent daily:

1. Blogger

2. Myspace, it's my only way of contact for most of my friends that are far away.

3. The Superficial, I am so addicted.

4. The Knot

Bachelorette Party!

Okay so I am officially getting excited. I just finished my design for the shirts for the girls. It's going to be on a wifebeater. I like it. I have been searching for shirts for awhile, and they are all the same, they all have the rhinestone titles that say "bachelorette Party" or "Bridesmaid", not that there is anything wrong with those, but I am always driving myself crazy trying to do something different. So what we have planned is when they arrive, they will get a gift bag. Inside is going to be their shirt, a cadet type hat with the rhinestone titles, and a urban type cowboy hat to wear at the pool. They are also getting a shot glass, and a couple of bottles of liquor. It's the least I could do for these great girls traveling all that way to hang out with me for the weekend.

This is so getting me in the zone. It's like buying this stuff makes it reality. So I have been doing so good working out and eating healthy. I am down about 3lbs. The hardest part for me is the weekends, so I really have to try extra hard. Just wanted to share this info, have a great day!

Wedding Plans

Wedding plans are coming along, but there is just still so much left to do. So I thought in order to make myself feel less stressed I am going to blog about what I have done, that way I can get some feeling of accomplishment.

I have already had 2 fittings for my dress. It is going to be fabulous. I still have to pick out a veil and shoes, but I thought I could wait since there is still plenty of time to do that. The lady at the bridal boutique said she is going to be getting more veils in so I might as well wait, instead of picking now and regretting later.

I decided that since I am going to be staying at the hotel the night before, I booked a great hair/make-up stylist to come to the hotel and do my hair and make up as well as the girls the morning of the wedding. That way I don't have to get up and drive some where. Here is a pic of how I kind of want my hair. Since my dress is pretty elaborate I think the rest of me needs to go simple.



The venue is booked for the ceremony and reception. They are also going to cater, so that was kind of a few tasks in one. We have a food tasting in a couple of weeks, that should be fun. We pretty much have narrowed the menu choices down. We just need to pick the rest of the appetizers for our cocktail hour. Also, I am so excited about having a chocolate fountain, I think it's going to be great. I just hope I get a bite or two out of it.

The cake is taken care of and is being paid for by my cousin Gib. He is fabulous. Shelly Wade is making our cake, here is a pic of what it is going to look like.

The girls have already gone a measured for their dresses. They are on order. They are great, I wish I could have got one too!

We have also gone and picked out tux's. So let's just see how responsive the groomsmen are. They know better, I have already gotten on them about not replying to emails, they don't want to deal with me so much anymore.

Our Florist is booked, but I am kind of easy. Since our colors are black, white, and red, I am going with nothing but red roses. I am keeping it simple.

Roy Dressel is our photographer, I think he will do a great job. He is booked and paid:) Yay

Our DJ/Emcee for the evening is Mancini. They are wonderful, I have seen them first hand and am confident that they will make this an event to remember.

Well as I am writing this I know that yes the major ones are taken care of, but I need to get at the small stuff, that way it doesn't creep up on me all at once. If you read this, thanks, I know it's alot.

My Inspiration for my decor:

We had a great weekend!

Well another great weekend for the Winton household. We started out going to the Zoo. Mikey, myself, my sis, C.J., and Joseph. We had a blast. Even though it's just the Fresno Chaffee Zoo the boys really got a lot out of it. It was funny though, I don't own any pets and I am not a huge fan of animals, but at point during the zoo trip we were at the Wolf exhibit and I just felt so bad. There were several people just standing all around, and here was this wolf barricaded in it's den just watching as people are gawking at it. At that moment I just felt bad. I mean, zoo's are wonderful places, and I am sure give these animals a good home, but it's sad because they are just in an artificial environment. It's not "their home" you know? They are just put there on display for people to visit on a daily basis. They don't have their freedom. Well anyways, enough about that........for now.


Well the rest of the weekend was just great, that evening we went to Gib's house to hang out and had some champagne with Gloria. She is such a great person, and we rarely get to hang out cause she works a lot. Then Sunday was a nice relaxing-no make up-comfy-wear a hat Sunday!


On to another work week, let's see what this brings. I really need to get back to work on the wedding, there is still so much left to do.

Men Will Never Understand!

Well I only ended up working until 7, so when I got home things were good. Mike and Mikey were in the backyard playing baseball and all was good. Not that it changed, but i just hate discussing women's body issues with Mike. It all started with him calling his friends Jim who is his best man. His wife is really cool, they just visited recently and we discussed how we are so excited for the bachelor/bachelorette party in June. She seems to be one of those naturally this girls, but not a stick, just kind of tall and straight body. Anyways we talked how we were really going to start working out since we will be spending time down at the pool. So tonight after he got off the phone with Jim he said that Jim said that him and Esme were really hitting it hard and working out every night.

Now I am not a jealous person, but come on the girl is this now so I can imagine how great she is going to look. Then here goes Sheila in the mirror evaluating her body. I have always been a thick girl, the skinny jean just doesn't run in my family, so it's a struggle to maintain. Anyhow I have had a child and am getting older things just don't look so good in the mid section. I seriously show Mike what I don't like about my body and he stands there looks me in the eye and say that I am fine and am beautiful. Okay I know how to take a compliment, but come on if I were to put this body in a bikini and he didn't know me and were were in a pool situation with tons of other girls, he wouldn't be looking at me and my love handles, now would he. Let's be honest guys, you look at hot skinny girls for a reason, cause they look great. So don't stand there and lie to my face and tell me there is nothing wrong with my body. I can handle the truth!

I just hate how guys will gawk over a nice set of fake boobs, but refuse to fork out the money for a boob job for their wife. I told Mike I am considering going and getting a little lunch time lipo and he threw a fit. Right away he suggested I am doing it for all the wrong reasons, when in reality it's all about ME! He always told me that after we are done having kids that he wouldn't mind getting me some work done, but come on I am getting married and I just want to look my best. This day is not going to happen again. I don't know, maybe I am not making sense, but for now this is the way I feel. Goodnight.

Busy, Busy!

Well I am feeling so much better then the other day. Sometimes when you sleep on things and wake up the next day, what you felt so horrible about seems so small compared to other people's situations. Mike and I are doing so much better since Monday. He is in a really good mood and is still smoke-free! I am so proud of him. Things are just so busy, work is driving me crazy. I am either light or just swamped. I have been working on a proposal like crazy today. It's due tomorrow at the City, by 1:00 so looks like I am going to be working some OT tonight, since our damn printer just won't print fast enough. Oh well, the extra money is always nice.

Well as for the DIET, I am on day four and doing great. I have been exercising every night, and am sore as hell! But that's a good thing. I just love getting in the zone, it makes me so much happier and makes everything else in my life so much better. I guess it's true when your happy with yourself it projects to other things. So I just have to keep on doing what I am doing, plus if I don't my cousin Gib will call and give me his drill Sargent speech about being sexy and fabulous! He is such a "skinny bitch".

Well I am just so excited about all the different things I have coming up. Well just wanted to blog a bit since I had a little time at work but have to get back to it, will return later!

Just tired in every way possible................

I am just so tired of not one, but many things. Not tired to the point of giving up, but just to the point where enough already. I have been wanting to start this blog for awhile, and am a person that can usually blab for awhile, but to do this I feel like I needed to be at a point where I just didn't have the words to express verbally to another person how I feel. Today has been rough. Not that today just made me this way, but it's been kind of hectic lately. Oh where do I begin. Well I am a mom, a fiancee, I work full time, I am planning my own wedding and I am person that takes on alot. I am just overwhelmed. Back to today and my current problems. My fiancee Mike, has quit smoking, it has been about sixteen or seventeen days. It has not been easy. No patch, no gum, no meds, just quit cold turkey. I am beyond happy that he has done this, and am proud of him, but for someone that has been smoking for along time this really takes a toll on them. He has not been the happiest camper. I know it has to be hard, beyond hard, so I take his bad moods and let it go, because he is doing something great. I just am having a hard time with day sixteen or is it seventeen. I have been so good, trying not to nag him, or argue, or cry for fear that will drive him to the nearest mini mart to get a pack of smokes, but come on I need some love and attention along the way. He has been so rapped up in quitting smoking that it has affected our happiness. I am sick of picking up after him, I am sick of feeling like I am planning this wedding on our own, I am sick of him snapping at me and telling me how I am not properly disciplining Mikey (our son). It's unusual for us to be like this. Is this just all stemming from him giving up smoking? Anyhow, today has just sucked. He woke up like he was mad. He didn't smile once at work, he doesn't pay attention to what I am saying, he questioned what I did on my lunch. I pick up Mikey after work, and he is exhausted, so he is very grumpy and I had to spank him in the car for acting up, which made him cry from Woodlake to Visalia. Then we get home and he cries that Mike won't carry him outside, he cries cause he wants chicken nuggets for dinner instead of BBQ chicken, he cries cause he wants me to give him a bath and not Mike and as a result gets a spanking for that. I just feel so bad when he gets a spanking. So bad that I tell Mike and he gets mad for not being firm enough with him. So in turn I lay on my bed and cry that this is just all too much. I cry because I can't do everything. I cry because I am going on a great vacation in less then two months and I am not losing weight like I would like to. I cry cause it's nine o'clock and I am not even on my elliptical yet. So here I am, at almost eleven on a work night starting my blog. Yes I did elliptical which was hard, but now I feel good about that. But the rest is the same. Mikey finally went to sleep, Mike got up off the couch and is in bed watching TV and has not said a word to me. Anyhow, much of this probably does not make much sense, but it feels really good to get it out. It just feels like something heavy is on my chest and my throat is tight and I don't know how to swallow, but as I finish this blog it has lightened up a bit. This could be a very good thing for me. I don't have many people to talk to, nor do I want to burden them with a long phone call about all my drama when everyone has their own problems. So until then...........