Friends?

Okay, so I have not blogged in awhile, I have been so busy, but I need to as I have to vent. I am so tired of people in my life that claim to be some of my "best friends", at one of the most important times in my life I need them and where are they? For example, I have 5 bridesmaids in my wedding, 2 of there are 2 of my best friends or so I thought. We have been planning our Co bachelor/Bachelorette party for months, gave people over 6 months notice, but when one of them found out she was pissed and could not believe I had the nerve to ask people to go to it in Palm Desert. She accused me of thinking that I was to good, and to into living "the high society life", what kind of BS is that? It's called having fun and having the right to have my damn party anywhere I like. So after her almost backing out of the wedding over this, I just gave up and said whatever. She is drama anyway.

My other maid who I love dearly was on board. We told her that she could ride down with us, and we are going to share a room with her so she does not have the full expense on her own. I am accommodating her so she can go, because she is a great friend and I would love to have her there. So a couple of weeks ago I got a little drunk and she came to my rescue, now she sends me an email saying that she wants to really get her life in order and she needs to stop hanging around people that drink, drunk people, and all the drama. Could you make me feel any worse. I did thank her and apologize for my behavior. Then at the end of her email she says she is having second thoughts about attending the bacholor/bachelorette party? Are you freaking kidding me? I have been there for her through so many things. Many things that some friends would have just kind of let her go, but not me I am there through it all.

I set here talking to Mike in tears. In tears that all 5 of his groomsmen are attending the party. Three of them are flying from Sacramento to Palm Springs. We are talking lots of money, but they tell him they would not miss it for the world. That is true friendship. Two of my bridesmaids are going. My sister who is the Matron of Honor and my cousin Gloria. My niece is a little to young to go. So how do you think I feel. Like I told Mike, I dealt with girl issues my whole life, from elementary school thru high school. What is wrong with me? Am I not a good friend or am I just a bad judge of character? At this point I am not going to bite my tongue. I am going to tell them how I feel and if they don't like it oh well. Whats the worst that can happen, they back out? I don't want anyone in my wedding that doesn't want to be there anyway. If the shoe were on the other foot I would be honored to be an part of the wedding party and would not miss a thing.

I just know that after all is said and done there are going to be changes in the way I feel and think about people. I have gotten to know new people and am excited about forming new friendships with them. I think I am a great friend to people and it would be nice to have that in return. I have Mike who I love and has become my best friend, and I have those family members that were born as family but have become some of my best friends, but why do I have problems with just "friends".

Any advice?